


Lightning in Her Eyes

by FadeKiss



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FadeKiss/pseuds/FadeKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know what this is. I just started writing it out of thin air. I think it's Varric's new story about Solas and Lavellan's tormented relationship, as I was trying to write in his voice. Don't know if it's going anywhere, or if it's done. Just thought I'd post it to see what people thought of it...</p>
<p>It's very vague, but has spoilers for Trespasser. So you've been warned...</p>
<p>Hope you like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightning in Her Eyes

Lightning in her Eyes

She awakened from a cold, desolate dream. Sad eyes watched her from afar, catching her attention as she wandered the Fade. Alone, her pounding heart stirred as she opened her eyes and searched for her love. She released a sad sigh when she could not find him.

When she thought of him, she thought of the risk they decided to take-- the love and admiration for one another that they began to kindle. She did not usually take those kinds of risks. But she found herself falling harder for him every day, drawn to him like a beacon. She would take shortcuts through his office in the rotunda, just to say ‘hello’, even if he was in the complete opposite direction of where she was actually headed.

They remained cautious, and fought valiantly to protect what they had together. She would draw his gaze from across a room, and he would light up at the sight of her. Other members of the Inquisition started to see just what they meant to each other. 

He never expected to give his heart away. He had come to love her, more than he could ever imagine, than she would ever realize. But he could never tell her that-- because in the end, he knew they could not be together. He had to make the most of what little time fate had allowed them to be with one another.

Too many times, she had accidentally swayed him away from his cause-- forced him to reconsider his mission. Even if she had no knowledge of what he had planned, he knew that she was the only one would provide him any meaningful resistance. And so he kept wary, guarding his secret even as he offered her his heart. Doubts crept about in his mind, and he wondered how long he would last around her before he finally had to disappoint...hurt... her. He was not without a conscience, however, and would berate himself constantly in his mind, for lying to her. It would all be so much easier if she knew. Or if he changed course. Every second she did not know the truth provided him with another reason for why he had to end things between them. If only to protect her from the consequences of his impulsivity.

She noticed when he pulled away from her. Those moments were starting to add up, and she worried that soon they would lead to an end. She loved the elven apostate with all her heart, and carried the moments they shared with her, even as she cracked the skulls of lingering darkspawn in the Deep Roads, or prevented an Imperial assassination plots in Orlais. She had dispensed with many fools as part of her duty as Inquisitor, but she could not see that her vhenan’ara, Solas, was the biggest one of all.

Or perhaps she didn’t want to. She had always tried her best not to complicate things between them, for she knew they were fragile. As were many other things in her life. She counted herself very lucky to have drawn the admiration of such a respectable man, and for the most part, had not considered taking things further than that. She wished only to be with him, be connected to him, by his side-- to see where life took them. That is where she drew her strength from.

Inquisitor Lavellan and Solas fell together as if pushed by gravity. He remained loyal to her, accompanying her on nearly every mission, protecting her… watching her with great respect and admiration as she slowly proved herself to be the kind of woman he hoped she’d be. 

She worried that she wouldn’t live up to his expectations, and he worried that she was out of his league. But despite the initial hesitation and some minor differences in opinion on elves, they found each other. And for a time, they seemed happy-- something rare, considering the circumstances that initially brought them together, and that loomed over us all.

After Corypheus was defeated, Solas took his leave, disappearing, without a trace, into the night. She mourned her loss quietly, the pain consuming her wholly. Yet she did not regret her decision to be with him, even knowing that it was not meant to last. It simply satisfied her that she had won his love, something that she thought to be near impossible. Knowing that he still loved her, that he didn’t leave because of her, or something she did, gave her some hope that if they found each other again, she might be able to attempt saving what they had had.

And then the day came when they met, one final time, and she finally got the truth from him. He was Fen’Harel, an elven god of Tricksters… the Dread Wolf. Her Dalish lore warned of the Dread Wolf… she had fallen in love with an elven god… and he with her. Something out of a fairy tale, for sure. Totally and completely. 

Their reunion was painfully short. Solas revealed to her his true intentions, removed the unstable mark on her hand that she had been using to close rifts in the Veil. He saved her life-- taking her arm to keep her from being killed by the mark. He stole one final kiss from her, regret in his tone and his heart, perhaps knowing that from this moment on, they would be adversaries, even enemies-- that she would venture to stop him in the future. But part of him wanted her to stop him. A large part, in fact. He walked away from her for a second time. She could not understand how it was so easy for him. His abandoning her again was killing her as readily as her volatile mark.

***

Nightly, she would sense him. As she dreamed in the Fade, she would sense him watching her, with sadness and regret. She did not know how to feel. For when she attempted to reach out to him, he vanished. She felt powerless. The Dread Wolf had claimed her in her dreams as well. 

She started to feel frustration at this, and one night she managed to corner the Dread Wolf before he could disappear.

“Fen’Harel. Venavis. You continue to break my heart, even from this distance. Let me be…” She sighed.

He watched her silently for a moment, sadness in his eyes. “Ir abelas, vhenan. I shall go if you do not wish me here.” His voice sang with sorrow.

She felt her heart waver. She did not want him to leave. “...Why do you enter my dreams? What right do you have to insinuate yourself into my-- … we are not together. You do not have the right to enter and exit my life at your whim. You are exhausting. You have broken me. Was that your wish?”

He looked away. “If you do not wish me here, you need only to say so. It was my hope that we could stay together, here in the Fade, for a bit longer.”

“That is not acceptable.” She shook her head. “You are the one who drove us apart. It was through your choices that we ended up this way. I will not have you hound me in my dreams, no matter if you seek my forgiveness. You have forced me to move on, Solas. You have stolen my heart. Let that be enough.”

“You have my heart, as well.” He sighed quietly. I am so sorry, vhenan… for causing you pain...”

“Abandon your plans… come find me. I will welcome you back with opened arms. But you must realize that what you seek to do is madness, and that you need to be stopped. Do you understand why I cannot stand by your side? I love you… but that is not enough.”

“I know…” He said quietly. “If I must die, I would prefer it be by your hand.”

“You are such a fool.” She could feel herself getting angry at him, and turned away. “All you need do is come to your senses and keep yourself from becoming the villain. Yet you cannot bring yourself to do it. Continue down your Din’ananshiral if you must. But do not expect to draw any more of my pity.”

“... You are right. And I will stop apologizing, it must anger you.”

“And you’re not sorry.” She growled defensively. “We would not be here if you truly were.”

“...That hurts, vhenan… please, take that back. You know I love you, and that if things were different…--”

“Venavis. I cannot think in ‘could have beens’. Not anymore. It is what it is. We will see it resolved soon enough…”

“Ma nuvenin…” Solas sighed sadly. “...Vallem atisha theneras’en…” 

With that, he slowly faded away...


End file.
